By Amy Di Francia, LMFT 105646
The beginning of relationships is usually filled with passion and excitement. There’s an undeniable spark of attraction and interest, and everything feels new and electrifying! When we’re in that “honeymoon phase” of a relationship it seems like those feelings will last forever…until they don’t.
The truth is that over time, relationships can start to feel a little boring.
When you’ve been in a relationship for a while (whether that means a few months or a few years), it’s common for that initial excitement to fade. Additionally, you may be left missing those earlier days of excitement and novelty. The routine of day-to-day life sets in. Things begin to feel less new and interesting than they did in the beginning.
When boredom starts sinking in, you might start to feel discouraged and even disinterested in your partner. You might even find yourself questioning whether you want to remain in the relationship. That is a scary and overwhelming place to be…
If you’ve found yourself here, in a place where your relationship has started to feel stagnant and boring. Where the idea of a future filled with a humdrum relationship fills you with dread and panic. Then I have good news for you…
You don’t have to settle for a relationship that feels “boring.”
You don’t have to just accept this feeling of boredom. As a Couples Therapist who specializes in Couples Therapy, I am here to tell you there is hope for regaining that initial sense of excitement!
As a couples therapist who has helped numerous couples navigate this boredom trap, I want to share four practical things you can do to add excitement back into your relationship:
Number One – Normalize!
Remind yourself that it’s normal for relationships to have seasons that feel exciting and seasons that feel dull. Relationships naturally change over time. Sometimes the initial excitement is replaced by increased feelings of companionship and comfort with your partner.
Luckily, feeling bored in your relationship doesn’t automatically mean that the relationship has to end. Or that it will never again meet your need for excitement and passion. The truth is that relationships go through seasons. Just like all aspects of life do! Some seasons are filled with carefree passion and excitement. Others are filled with the sweetness of emotional intimacy and deep commitment.
So, take a deep breath and remind yourself you’re not alone in feeling this. And that it doesn’t have to last forever!
Number Two- Remind yourself of why you were attracted to your partner in the first place.
In long-term relationships, we can start to take our partners for granted and forget all the little things about them that attracted us to them initially.
Think about starting a list of all the things you found alluring about your partner at the beginning of your relationship – all the little things about them that caught your attention and left you wanting to know them more. A question I often ask the couples I work with is, “What was it about your partner that initially drew you to them and made you want to learn more? What made you want to keep moving closer to them instead of moving away?”
Take some time to think through these questions. Additionally, remind yourself about all of the unique things about your partner that used to be new and exciting. Chances are, many of those traits that initially drew you to your partner are still there. However, we’ve just forgotten to notice and appreciate them along the way.
Number Three – Plan things to look forward to.
It’s also common for long-term relationships to fall into the trap of routine, where your life together starts to feel predictable and monotonous, and you end up doing the same things day after day.
To help break away from that monotony, it’s important to have things on the calendar that both of you can look forward to with anticipation and excitement.
It’s important to plan things both in the short term (like planning a fun date night) and in the long term (like planning a trip away together). Having something fun to look forward to can provide the motivation to get you through the day-to-day boredom, and also provides opportunities to add novelty back into the relationship.
Number Four – Try something new together!
One way to push past boredom is to get out of your comfort zone and figure out something new to do together.
Get creative – you could take a pottery class, learn a new language, or cook a new meal together – the sky’s the limit! Ideally, whatever you choose should be new to both of you and reflect a common interest. By trying something new, you naturally re-activate your creativity. You create new experiences for the two of you to talk about.
Starting with these simple suggestions can be a way to nudge your relationship back toward those earlier days of passion and infatuation. Remember, your relationship doesn’t have to get stuck in boredom! Even your willingness to try something new and put these ideas into practice is a positive sign that your relationship won’t be doomed to boredom forever.
Don’t Get Stuck In a Cycle of Relationship Boredom. Reach Out to Our Couples Therapists Today to Start Couples Therapy in Burbank, CA, and Spice Up Your Life!
Take action now to break free from the cycle of relationship boredom and reignite the spark in your partnership! Don’t settle for a relationship that feels dull and stagnant. You have the power to bring excitement back into your life with your partner. Don’t resign yourself to a humdrum existence. Reach out to our couples therapists in Burbank, CA, and spice up your life through couples therapy. Take the first step toward a vibrant and fulfilling relationship. Follow the steps below to get started:
- Learn more about our team here.
- Connect with a therapist here.
- Take back control of your life and well-being!
Other Mental Health Services Available at Interior Design Firm
In addition to Couples Therapy, we also offer other services to a wide range of individuals at any stage of life. These include Therapy for Teens and Parents, Adult Therapy, and Therapy for Anxiety. All of our services are also offered in an Online Therapy Format for ease of access and enhanced privacy as well. Please reach out today. We look forward to working with you.
